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Lowering The Gradients According To The Persona Of The Girl

When we are talking about subjects such as "relating to women", or "how to relate to women" or "Can you relate to women?", I usually get asked regarding the simplest way to start getting physical with a girl that you have known as a friend for awhile.

Getting physical is something that usually occurs naturally between a man and a woman over a three month period unless one or both of them is extremely uncomfortable on disinterested.

When a man is not comfortable with approaching a woman for a physical relationship, the the most important thing that a man could do to deal with that is learn how to observe and make use of gradients.

What are gradients? Gradients are like steps on a ladder that you climb to reach the top. Some guys may try to head to the top of the ladder without climbing any of the steps. And that makes the girl uncomfortable as well as the guy.

A man who is not comfortable in this area should learn both how to recognize gradients when women make use of them and how to make use of gradients on women.

Not every woman will begin at the same gradient. Some women will start with a kiss after a first date, and proceed steadily or quickly from there - from kissing, to making out, to petting, to heavy petting and ultimately to sexual relations. If a man tries to leap to the "sexual relations" stage without going through the other gradients, he may just lose the girl. On the other hand, you may lose a girl because you are moving up the gradients too slowly.

Now other women won't even be up to the gradient of giving you a goodnight kiss until the seventh date. Gradients for her could be: getting to know you, talking about sexual subjects indirectly (for example commiserating regarding an ex-boyfriend), accidental touch (clashing with you as you stroll), purposeful little touches to your arm or leg, holding onto your arm as you go walking, holding your hand, after which a goodnight kiss.

If you are not comfortable with this area and wish to get physical with a girl, flirt with her, romance her, notice where she is on the gradients of sexual contact, then lead her up the gradients gently. As long as you don't skip too many gradients, if she is interested, she will move up the gradients swiftly or gradually depending on her personality.

If she is not interested, she probably won't move up. Try lowering the gradient and if she still doesn't move up, try talking about it. Ask her if she is serious about a relationship with you or if she only wants to be friends.

Also remember that most women won't go out on a "date" with you unless they are already vaguely okay with the idea of getting physical with you. Thus you may need to make clear if you are dating or simply "hanging out."

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